


Memcakes

by Paech



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Child Abandonment, F/F, Gen, Meat route, Single Parents, dw rose just went to the store for milk and a pack of cigs, hot single depressed milf kanaya ready to mingle and mope, this won't go in my marylonde fam collection bc that's only for fluff times and au canon, with the exception of snb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-10 11:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paech/pseuds/Paech
Summary: She's gone, gone, gone. Never to return. Deceased, metaphorically speaking.Kanaya won't be able to accept and bare it, not when her whole perfect and matrimony world had been swept away under her feet. She's merely left with only hurt and anger, and a guileless bairn that Rose left behind.





	Memcakes

Kanaya felt numb, exhausted from the events that occurred in a single day. Jade stains were practically etched into her cheeks, almost visible if one were to narrow their eyes and study her face for a considerable minute. The sun was gradually dipping down, the sky having been dimmed for an hour already. 

She didn't notice it at all, that she had spent the last few hours of the hectic day at her close friend's home; discussing subjects that had already slipped Kanaya's mind after she passed out on the couch. Once she rose, Karkat had been the one to help her out of the house, making sure to ask twice and once another if she wanted to stay for the night; he'd offer to ask Dave to go trek to her apartment and retrieve possessions among other things, if she decided to keep put. 

Making her way up the apartment stairs and towards the fern painted door, wrapping her hand around the knob but not budging to open yet. She closed her eyes as she withdrew a shaky breath, trying to prevent another round of fresh tears to flow down the sides of her face; at least, not now. Even if the absence of her wife and the likely outcome for her to never return back to her arms, she still had someone to stay strong for. 

After letting a few minutes pass that she had a decent chain to keep her emotions from bursting, Kanaya twisted the knob and entered her home. Complete silence fell on Kanaya's ears, rhythmic sounds of the wind whistled in the area, swaying a strand of the jadeblood's hair. 

As soon as Kanaya closed the door behind, an adoring mewl was emitted from across. A lump of fur came into view, white easily outlining in the darkened room. Kanaya reached to the side with her hand, flickering on the lights and exposing the fluffy cat that her and Rose adopted from the streets perched comfortably on the couch armrest. A surge of pain buzzed through Kanaya's head, surrounding her puffy eyes. 

Kanaya pinched the bridge of her nose, quickly taking a seat in the dining area that was settled in the same section as the living room. The apartment only offered a limited space. 

She rested her elbows on the wooden table and locked her hands against the opposites of her face, feeling the cold surface of her wedding ring as slouched in her chair, drowsiness beginning to overtake her. She didn't have a simple, rough idea of what she wanted - _ needed _to do next. 

“Mama.”

The unexpected small voice caused Kanaya to jump, stirring her head around quick with a short shiver sent down her spine from the coldness of the apartment. Looking down, she spotted the light gray pigmented child leaning against the wall, her green eyes focused solely on Kanaya with a hint of grogginess in her look and inky black hair disheveled. She must've woken up from her nap. 

Kanaya sniffled sharply, her hands flying to wipe underneath her eyes and smear away the mascara. Her chest swelled with new breathes of the cold air, attempting to regulate her breathing before facing her darling daughter. 

A soft smile stretched over her face, Lilith mimicking with her own cute grin that was a blessing for her to capture after the last past hours. 

Their daughter was safe and sound, for one remaining bit of comfort; Kanaya wouldn't want to live on Earth C for any more minutes if her only snippet of Rose was taken away as well. 

She couldn't imagine _what _she would do, perhaps not being able to conjure up strength to heave off the bed in mornings. Lilith was her last shred of will, her last shred of _Rose_, she'd be devastated without her. 

With a blink of an eye, Kanaya embraced Lilith with warm and secure arms, jade tears ceaselessly strolling down her cheek. Lilith hooked her grubby fingers on Kanaya's cream shirt, silent and unquestioning about her mother's sudden attitude. 

Kanaya's arms stayed wrapped around Lilith for prolonged minutes, the jadeblood's nose beginning to clog back up with mucus and blocking her secondary air passage. Leisurely, Kanaya pulled back, her daughter's innocent eyes staring keenly at her, visibly concerned about the tears staining her face. 

Poor, sweet Lilith. She absolutely didn't bare any knowledge of Rose's disappearance, perhaps seeing Rose for the last time she didn't know of with Dirk lingering at the side and assisting her out the door. 

Kanaya wondered if Rose for the very least had made a goodbye to their daughter - of course she did, Kanaya thought, Lilith wouldn't be calm and collected at the fact Rose wasn't present somewhere in their apartment. She wondered how the farewell went, contemplating of the image of Rose speaking in a thick voice with smeared lines of black underneath her eyes, pressing a tender kiss to Lilith's cheek one last time. 

Potentially abiding with gnawing steps, glancing at Lilith every second or so, for one last time, seeing the hybrid stare at her with a clueless gaze as she drifted off to sleep. Perhaps she took a heavy breath, placing a foot out the frame of the door and marking her last time of ever seeing her cherished daughter. No more kisses goodnight, tending to scrapes, and lollygagging with her in the park as Kanaya watched from afar on the bench before being probed to joining them. 

It must've been hard for Rose. Of course it was; having to abandon the life and family she built, due to an easy sway of manipulation from her ecto father. 

'_How could she have left us?' _is what sprinted around in Kanaya's head and unable to blanket it without sprouting more veins. She had to gain control of her grief, before it consumed her; Lilith would be left with both her doting mothers no longer to care for her if so. 

Kanaya emitted a bittersweet chuckle. To think only a week before the event, Rose, Kanaya, and Lilith were bundled on the couch, watching a movie that left sweet feelings, while Kanaya had her wife's head comfortably seated on her chest to contrast her pounding headaches and their hybrid daughter nestled in between them. 

They'd never have that again. They'd taken advantage of the joyful moments, when Rose's headaches didn't form and ruin their evening plans, when the surreal moment of Kanaya holding Lilith in her arms for the first time just a few hours after she was born as Rose nodded off in the gurney. 

Kanaya would never forget Rose's seemingly permanent fond look of the first glimpse of their daughter. 

The blonde stated, with such confidence and assurance in her tone, she'd never abandon Kanaya and Lilith, claiming they were her entire reason to keep in taking a puff of air.

And it was true. 

Until Rose's illness intruded into their life, then Dirk.

L'homme aux lunettes de soleil coupantes et aux reflets stoïques. 

"Mama," Lilith piped up flummoxed, Kanaya putting the entirety of her focus on the precious thing she still had. "Why are you sad?"

Kanaya paused for a moment, slowly shaking her head before wiping her hand across her face, a fanged grin curling on her cheeks. 

"I'm fine, starlight, really, I just had an.... inconvenience today, so I'm not very happy." Kanaya spoke with caution, feeling another weeping wanting to burst out as Lilith reached forth and wiped at her mother's tear tracks.

"Mommy was crying too," Lilith said, frowning as worries built up in her emotions like bricks that could potentially collapse and leave a ghast mess if Kanaya wasn't careful with her response. "She was very sad, and she kept telling me how much she loved me and you, she said she was leaving for a quick moment and that uncle grandpa was going with her too."

Kanaya's heart had already took enough blows from her conversation with Rose just before she went off with Dirk, hearing Lilith detail what Rose's last words to her in such an innocent voice and unaware of the situation, only harpooned her heart once more. 

Lilith most likely thought Rose would return some day. 

"You don't have to be sad, mama, mommy will be back soon!" Lilith assured, blissfully, making Kanaya's throat constrict. 

Her eyes felt hot to the touch; she wasn't up to idea of balling in front of Lilith. 

Instead of dignifying her response with a guttural noise, Kanaya only nodded, quick to scoop Lilith into her arms as her face scrunched up and lips wavered, walking to Lilith's room and settling the hybrid into bed. 

After tucking her in and switching off the lights, with steady steps despite her blurry vision, Kanaya collapsed onto the leather couch. Her bed was empty and cold without a purple eyed woman sitting on a side, book in hands and reading with intense interest. She just wasn't ready to face her reality, not just yet. 

***

Three days ploddingly rolled by, every moment of fluttering her eyes and glancing at the balcony was painstaking. It hadn't been a week yet, but parenting a five year old by herself hastily proved a difficult task; she couldn't recall the last time she saw Karkat's or her in-laws face. Kanaya was all Lilith had, so her important priority had became raising Lilith as a single mother. 

On the fourth day, Lilith developed a stomach ache from ingesting too much cookie dough, ignoring Kanaya's previous chides not to. Rose wasn't here to assist in the situation, so Kanaya had gave her tylenol and put her to rest, while she took care of housework, such as cleaning their cat's litterbox and putting fabrics and clothes to wash. Relief washed over the jadeblood when Lilith sprung up with a healthy aura. 

On the fifth day, Kanaya received a string of missed phone calls and messages from Karkat, her jade toned orbs flickering over the large, gray letters and then turning off her phone and flipping sides on the couch, the fluffy white cat cuddling up at her thigh. Though her sleep was short lived, having been awoken by Lilith's cries that were caused by the booming thunder echoing outside, dull sounds of the rain pattering against the roof surrounding them.

Lilith sobbed and hyperventilated with much needed comfort, Kanaya beckoned her to come lay with her on the couch, the hybrid didn't waste a second to barrel into her chest, hiccuping and shuddering when lightning struck down, buzzing in their ears. Kanaya sighed, softly stroking her frightened daughter's hair, bringing her closer and resting her chin above the hybrid's head. Her fingers were glued to Kanaya, refusing to pry from her support, perhaps willing to forcefully drag Kanaya along if someone were to attempt to separate them. 

Kanaya concealed her eyes from the quick flashing light, opting to lull herself back to sleep by listening to the rain rhythm. So there they lay, a pure white cat affectionately dubbed Jaspers the Second (by Rose, out of irony of his fur being completely white), a jadeblooded troll clutching onto her upset daughter - what was left of their family.

Kanaya hadn't realized the droplets of wet tears sprinkling her face. 

On the seventh day, a week officially passed. Life still galloped on the past days, Earth C resuming to rotate, cycle between day and night. Kanaya had a bit of restrain on her emotions, but she proved to still be a ticking time bomb, no matter the repetitive statements she told herself. 

Lilith started to ask where Rose was, questioning to her mother _when _she was planning to come back home, to which Kanaya met with a fib. Lilith just wasn't ready to hear the truth, too young and sensitive. It was a necessity for Lilith to ponder and repeatedly inquire about Rose, the hybrid beginning to grow fussy about her absence. 

With the dilemma at hand, Kanaya hesitated momentarily before deciding to take down Rose's pictures from the walls, hiding away the frames of the blonde's smile that perched on the stands in their living room. If Rose's photos weren't littering at every corner of the apartment, maybe Lilith would think of her less often. Hopefully.

Kanaya's gaze lingered at the last photo they had shoot; a simple picture of her and Rose, lipstick marks printed on each other's cheeks. Her finger pads trailed on the pale familiar face, longing streaked in her actions. 

A light, wistful sigh slipped from Kanaya as she coiled tissue around the fragile frame. 

***

"Kanaya? Kanaya! Open the fuck up!" a loud voice rasped out, hard knocks colliding into the wooden door seamlessly, supposedly neverending until the familiar troll he wanted to see greeted him. A week rolled by without Kanaya making a single presence, the missed calls and unresponsive messages probing Karkat to get fed up and concerned beyond limits. 

The sound of the knob jostling felt like music to his ears, the door creaking open to reveal a very worn Kanaya. Karkat's eyes flew to the size of saucers, immediately throwing his arms around Kanaya in a tight squeeze. 

"Jegus fuck, Kanaya, you had me worried as all hell, I don't think I've stressed out this much, christ, I really thought you-" Karkat paused his rant, reeling back with an expression the jadeblood couldn't describe. 

"I'm just so glad you're _okay_, I don't know what I'd do on this tedious as shit planet." 

Kanaya gave a small smile, hugging him back, though with less tight force. Behind Karkat, Terezi emerged, her hair tousled more than she usually styled it. There were bags carried underneath her red ablaze eyes, glasses sliding off the bridge of her nose. 

"And hello to you too, Terezi, it's been quite awhile since I've seen both of you, I suppose." Kanaya greeted, slowly disconnecting her limbs and Karkat's in order to step back and offer them inside. A caterpillar brow arched on Karkat, huffing loudly as he went ahead and trekked inside her apartment. 

"'You suppose'?! Kanaya, nobody has seen you for _days _and you've been ignoring my helpless and distressed attempts to contact you like as if you went on vacation or some shit! I know you're grieving about Dirk Shitder kidnapping your wife, but it's not god damn healthy for you to hang out in a secluded island." Karkat bellowed, flailing his arms while his temper got the best of him. He'd thought Kanaya couldn't handle the grief of losing the love of her life, that she grimly decided to kick the bucket and capture her own life by her own will. 

"You still have a daughter to take care of, y'know?" Karkat reminded earnestly, to which Kanaya frowned. Terezi huffed, furrowing her eyebrows lightly at the mutant blood. 

"Karkat," Terezi interjected, gesturing to the side once she received his attention, the aforementioned daughter standing drowsily near the adults. "I can only see blurs, but I'm pretty sure Lilith is fine." 

Karkat locked his shoulders in embarrassment. Kanaya smoothed her hands against her ruby red pants, adorning a reassuring look directed to her friend. 

"I've just been, ah, warped in important matters, but I'm fine, really, and so is Lily." Kanaya said. "But thank you for the concern."

Karkat shook his head. "You're not getting off the hook that easy, Kanaya, everyone and their yapping canine can tell you're still beating yourself up about Rose."

Kanaya creased her brows a tad, folding her hands in front of her politely. Bottling up her emotions, most likely. 

"Karkat please," Kanaya's voice dropped to a soft tone. "Lilith is currently present in the respiteblock and she doesn't exactly.... know about Rose's predicament." her tone was coated in stern, causing Karkat to shrink. 

Terezi snickered at his misfortune. "You really didn't change, Karkat."

He glared at the tealblood, diverting his attention back on Kanaya in a split second. 

"We're all worried about you." Karkat sighed gruffly, crossing his arms while his brows knitted tensely. Kanaya thinned her lips, unable to muster up an answer, prompting Karkat to settle a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

"Look, it's not that I don't trust you to stay by yourself in your house, you're probably the only person I can trust with my whole damn bloodpusher but..." Karkat breathed lowly. "I don't want you unattended right now, it causes me a bout of ungodly amount of stress and it's hard as hell for me to pay attention to whatever romcom movie of my own choice, so I really advise that you should bunk with Dave and I for awhile."

Kanaya raised an eyebrow, shaking her head rapidly. "No! Karkat, please, I'm _fine, _please just, let me be."

Karkat puffed up his chest, claws getting caught into the black cotton of his favored turtleneck. He didn't gloss over the fact Kanaya's voice had cracked, it was unmistakable and attention catching, enough to garner even Lilith. 

"We've known each other for years before our blood colors started molting our pupils, I'm accustomed to your mannerisms already and when you're going too off the edge." Karkat stated softly, quite a surprise to Terezi and Kanaya's ears, as his claws dragged along his sweater and latched on to the end. 

"You won't be intrusive, I swear, you and Lilith really need to spend time away from your apartment for awhile." he concluded, hope brimming in him that his friend would comply. Kanaya didn't respond for a minute, a sigh escaping her, her shoulders sagging. It was likely for the best Kanaya and Lilith departed from their house just for at least a few weeks; too much memories and notable absence of Rose overfilled the aura. Kanaya nodded sagely. 

Karkat relaxed his posture, relief surging through him. "I can help you with packing necessities, Terezi can deal with Lilith's stuff."

Terezi gave a toothy grin, trudging towards Lilith and stabling a hand on her black hair. 

"Let's get to packing your snuggleplanes and clothes, roomy, you're living with us temporarily." Terezi said, letting Lilith take her by the hand and lead her to her room. 

Kanaya passed a quizzical glance to Karkat. "Roomy? Us?"

"Yeah, Terezi's been living with us for a bit now, too, says she doesn't wanna be alone right now after... John's passing." Karkat rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, an amused noise emitting from the jadeblood. 

"I see your hive has become a foster care for jilted and widowed lovers." Kanaya chuckled, dragging out an indescribable sound from Karkat that sounded near amusement and baffling. 

"I still can't believe Terezi and John finally got together, but then Terezi's newly acquired matesprit decided to just die on her not even hours later!" Karkat rolled his eyes. "Those two shit lords deserve each other, they equally annoy me to end."

"I just find it quite amusing the two people you had past crushes on got together." Kanaya teased. A cherry color marked Karkat's cheeks, his hand shooting for Kanaya's wrist and proceeding to tug them into the master bedroom to gather some of Kanaya's needed belongings. 

Once important items were packed and ready, the group shuffled out, Jaspers the Second safely secured in a carrier that was latched onto Kanaya's left hand. 

With a free hand, Kanaya locked the apartment, her flourished jade eyes staring blankly at the door. Karkat and Terezi already began trekking down the stairs, Lilith piggybacking on Terezi and wrapping her hands around her sharp pointed horns. 

Kanaya felt empty, just looking at the entrance of the apartment room. No violin music streamed out, something Kanaya would always hear first when she was navigating through the large apartments to reach her home. 

Gradually, Kanaya took a step back, her lips pressed together and naked. She'd have to apply a fresh layer of lipstick once she made it to Dave and Karkat's house. 

~

Finally settled in a guest bedroom, that Terezi surprisingly didn't snatch up when she first arrived, opting to apparently sleep on the burgundy couch in the living room, Kanaya ran a hand through her silky smooth hair. 

It still felt odd; being away from home. The apartment offered bittersweet memories of Rose and Kanaya's domestic life, counting the times of before Lilith was born. It gave the jadeblood a sense of familiarity and _comfort_.

But it also provided dreadful feelings. 

Besides, her life with Rose was over now - as much as she terribly missed them and would gladly chainsaw Dirk's body in half, everything was about Lilith now. Karkat was utterly right; her daughter needed her more than anything. 

"Mama."

Oh, speak of the devil. Kanaya cocked her head towards the door frame, Lilith dressed in her favourite moth pyjamas, hoodie sagging over her head. Her features were visible though, and Kanaya noted her young daughter's nose and the way her face constructed into such an adorable serious face, just like Rose. Her nose shape was like Rose's. So was her sclera, the reason why her gray skin was turnt light, and everything else human-like about her baby. 

Rose may have been gone, but there was still a piece of her walking around on Earth C. 

Suddenly Dave appeared behind Lilith, hands tucked away in his pockets. He gave his sister-in-law a greeting nod, to which Kanaya mimicked responsively. 

"Soo," he drawled, as if to test how the thick the air was and making it easy to suck back in his words. "haven't seen you or Lily in awhile."

Kanaya merely hummed, unpacking her dresses and flatting them out on the mattress. 

Dave was visibly trying - and failing - to conjure up a conversation starter, watching as his niece bounded towards the bed and crawled up hanging onto the fabricated blankets. The blond cleared his throat. 

"You.... you've been okay these past days?" Dave sounded unsure about his question, because even someone's blinded grandma could tell Kanaya was unwell and suffering. 

Dave pursed his lips at Kanaya's hum response, this time resonating a bit light. Her hands danced back and forth between smoothing out the decorative dresses and into the bag containing them. 

"She's the last remaining thing we have of Rose, huh." Dave uttered, referring to Lilith. Kanaya breathed out in shaky manner; nodding her head swiftly. 

Dave sighed jittery, a distinctive upset expression painting his features. "Take care of her." 

The night invaded the sky, bright and small stars dotting the pitch background. Lilith was curled up next to Kanaya, a glow illuminating from the jadeblood's skin to assist with Lilith's fear of the dark. 

Kanaya's eyes lingered in place on the ceiling, noticing the tiny bumps and specific streaks of paint. Kanaya's breathing was soft, rhythmic, insomnia flooding her sensations and causing her eyelids to flutter and stay open, not even the spaghetti dinner Dave cooked up made the jadeblood drowsy. 

A heartburn blazed in her chest, a sweet taste suddenly forming at the back of her throat, making her grimace and briefly turn over to grab the cup of previously-ice water, the blocks of ice already melted and dissolving into more cold water. 

Taking a sip, the cool water quenched the irritating dry feeling spreading in her throat, a simple sigh gusting her lips as she moved the cup back to the nightstand. 

You fell in love with the wrong girl. Just admit it.

Kanaya thinned her lips, sourly, claws slashing against the blankets thrown over her and Lilith. How ridiculous. Kanaya didn't even want to acknowledge it with a response, neither a small sound. 

The wedding ring, still wrapped around protectively on Kanaya's finger, glistened in the dark room, the purple gem encased in the ring being the purpose of shining. She used to loathe purple, the shade of color being associated with only her enemies blood color, that is until she glimpsed into Rose's eyes and found herself entranced and doughy.

It's okay, bro. Your secrets will be well handled with me, you don't have to ignore it.

Kanaya gritted her teeth. She couldn't nothing about it, no shit eating smirk to punch and knock off sharp shades as they clattered onto the ground. Lilith had a grip on her pyjama shirt anyways, she needed Kanaya to present with her or else she'd sob uncontrollably. 

She'll forget about Rose at some point, you don't need to worry. Maybe Rose will be back years from now, who knows, but meanwhile she's currently scannin' the dairy aisle for milk.

Kanaya squeezed her eyes, bringing Lilith closely to her chest, curling around her protectively like a bear and her cubs. 

Take care of my granddaughter, Kanaya.

'_Shut the fuck up.' _Kanaya's palm ached to have her chainsaw lipstick, to fend off and protect her daughter from the unknowns in the dark room. He'd have to get past her own strong build before he would be able to even lay a hand on Lilith. 

~

When Kanaya fluttered her eyes open, sun filtering through the thick blinds and sun-warming her gray skin. Glancing down next to her, Lilith was absent, presumably up and in the living room playing with her uncle, perhaps aunt too. 

Kanaya lazily stretched her limbs, body going still for a moment with her eyesight locked up at the ceiling. She felt too lazy, and generally unable, to flicker her orbs anywhere but the ceiling. 

She peered over to the night stand where his cup still sat, the water most likely warmed up by now, but Kanaya dismissed and took a sip of it anyways. 

Placing the glass cup on the stand, Kanaya sat up, sniffing. The covers still felt cozy, enough for Kanaya to be shackled to the bed. 

But that quickly left when an abrupt feeling weighed on Kanaya's chest, her breathing slowing to a leisure pace. 

Maybe Rose, her beautiful and wonderful wife, was waiting at home for her. Maybe she finally returned. 

Despite the knocking in her mind, Kanaya was convinced on a whim, jumping to her feet and heading towards the door, not bothering to change her sleeping wear. 

Speeding to the living room, Lilith settled in between Roxy and Dave on the couch, Calliope leaning on Roxy's shoulder with Jaspers ll nestled and purring on her lap. 

Roxy took note of the jadeblood, a welcoming bright smile crossing their face. 

"Hey, Kan! It's been so long since I last saw you, I was kinda getting worried," Roxy said, ruffling Lilith's hair and leaving her kigurumi hoodie to slip off her head. "It's a really rough time right now, y'know, so we all should stick together more closely than before."

"At least we are together now, love." Callie pointed out, earning a tiny grin from Roxy and a sling of their arm around the cherub's waist, a kiss being pressed into Callie's green skull as a noticeable and cute blush flooded her. 

Kanaya mused out loud, hurrying to her shoes. There was a pain surging in the back of her ankle, but she disregarded it with a flick of a wrist. 

"Kanaya, if you ever require some time for yourself, Roxy and I are always available to watch over Lilith for as long as you need." Callie offered, making Kanaya pause as she slid one foot into her shoes and pursed her lips thoughtfully, turning around. 

"Actually, um, could you babysit her at the moment? I just remembered I left something important back at the apartments, so I must quickly retrieve it." Kanaya told the cherub, to which Callie and Roxy nodded.

Dave nodded responsively as well. "I'll tell Karkat before he shits his pants and throws a loud rant when he realizes you're gone."

"I already heard, nookstain," Karkat huffed nasally from the kitchen's opening. "I don't shit myself when I throw a tangent, shut your ugly mouth."

"Yeah, an ugly mouth you like to kiss." Dave jested, earning an eye roll from the short troll. 

"Kanaya, just, promise me you'll be back." Karkat spoke with worry. Kanaya nodded swiftly, slipping on the last shoe and barging through the door. 

Speed walking on the streets, her natural vampire speed almost being triggered, Kanaya made her way to the apartments, breathing out coolly and hopefully, hastily going up the stairs. 

Her key stuttered on the lock for a quick minute, fitting the key in after the sixth try and not wasting a millisecond to collide into the door and enter the room. 

Kanaya was only met with the sensation of absence, livelihood that once overfilled the apartment long dead. Kanaya shivered, hair on edge. 

It was ultimately dark in every spot of the area, stepping inside and peering everywhere. No signs of her dear wife. Rose wasn't here. 

Of course she wasn't - she went god knows where. 

Kanaya bit her lip, hard enough that it punctured her bottom lip and green blood trickled around her fang, the metallic taste of her own blood making her stick out her tongue in disgust. 

With slow steps, Kanaya walked over to the couch, carefully taking a seat on the cushion. The apartment no longer bared the cozy, familiar space. Like as if no one ever lived there in the first place. It didn't comfort her to be in there anymore.

Kanaya felt numb and dull, almost dizzy. Her eyelids culminated into a heavy weight, prodding her to collapse on the couch. Her body felt as if it was glued to the couch, unable to muster strength at the moment to get up on her feet and make a trip back to her friend's hive. 

She had to stop denying it. Only her and Lilith were left bundled on Earth C. Perhaps Rose would make a return; not now, or the next coming months, neither years, but one day. 

Yes, Kanaya thought, slipping her eyes closed and burying her nose to the crook of her arm. Rose would come back one day. 

She'll wait, for as long as she has to. With Lilith knitted to her side. 

*

You overlay gray pants on the hardwood table, iron burning into the material until the crinkles smoothed out and the iron being put to the side. Clipping the pants in between your robo fingers, you fold it carefully. Moving on to the rest of laundry, you spot a green printed sign at the corner of your eyes, hesitating to examine it. 

You ceaselessly slip the black shirt from the pile, feeling your eyes slightly widening at the sight of your wife's old shirt. You haven't a clue of however the shirt ended up in the laundry, or that it was even present here with you. 

You stare at it for a tad too long, shaking your head lightly before checking the left and right side surrounding you, just in case. Your robot body wasn't built with nostrils, but that doesn't halt you to bury your metal surface into the cotton. It floods you with an overwhelming sense of security, tinge with sorrow. 

You've since left your wife and daughter with the slim chance of ever reuniting with them.

What do you do now?

**Author's Note:**

> listen meat route is even more depressing in regards to my rosemary family au, bc not only does Lilith grow up without Rose, but my other two rosemary babs wouldn't exist in context with the time periods I've long set.  
(btw if you wanna have a look at the soon mystery babs that I've actually had but hid for awhile, [ here ](https://caruleanfox.tumblr.com/post/186763372166/another-commission-for-lemontiii-more-rosemary)) their names are Spica and Thyme and they're sweet cinnabons, but that's all the info I'm sharing until they appear ∨_∨


End file.
